1 Nephi 16:18 - 25, NC 1 Nephi 5 par. 7
And it came to pass that as I, Nephi, went forth to slay food, behold, I did break my bow which was made of fine steel; and after I did break my bow, behold, my brethren were angry with me because of the loss of my bow, for we did obtain no food. And it came to pass that we did return without food to our families. And being much fatigued because of their journeying, they did suffer much for the want of food. And it came to pass that Laman, and Lemuel, and the sons of Ishmael did begin to murmur exceedingly because of their sufferings and afflictions in the wilderness; and also my father began to murmur against the Lord his God; yea, and they were all exceeding sorrowful, even that they did murmur against the Lord. Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, having been afflicted with my brethren because of the loss of my bow, and their bows having lost their springs, it began to be exceeding difficult, yea, insomuch that we could obtain no food. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did speak much unto my brethren because they had hardened their hearts again, even unto complaining against the Lord their God. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick an arrow; wherefore, I did arm myself with a bow and an arrow, with a sling and with stones. And I said unto my father, Whither shall I go to obtain food? And it came to pass that he did inquire of the Lord, for they had humbled themselves because of my words; for I did say many things unto them in the energy of my soul. And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came unto my father, and he was truly chastened because of his murmurings against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow.
And it came to pass that as I, Nefi, went forth to slay food, behold, I did break my bow which was made of fine steel; and after I did break my bow, behold, my brothers were angry with me because of
the loss of my bow, for we did obtain no food. And it came to pass that we did return without food to our families. And being much fatigued because of their journeying, they did suffer much for the
want of food. And it came to pass that Laman, and L’mu’el, and the sons of Yishma’el did begin to murmur exceedingly because of their sufferings and afflictions in the wilderness; and also my
father began to murmur against yhwh his Elohim; yes, and they were all exceedingly sorrowful, even that they did murmur against yhwh. Now it came to pass that I, Nefi, having been afflicted with my
brothers because of the loss of my bow, and their bows having lost their springs, it began to be exceedingly difficult, yes, insomuch that we could obtain no food. And it came to pass that I, Nefi, did speak much unto my brothers because they had hardened their hearts again, even unto complaining against yhwh their Elohim. And it came to pass that I, Nefi, did make out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick an arrow; wherefore, I did arm myself with a bow and an arrow, with a sling and with stones. And I said unto my father, Where shall I go to obtain food? And it came to pass that he did inquire of yhwh, for they had humbled themselves because of my words; for I did say many things unto them in the energy of my soul. And it came to pass that the voice of yhwh came unto my father, and he was truly chastened because of his murmurings against yhwh, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow.
The Prophet Joseph declared the following.
of witnesses and examples before us, and not be obliged to learn by sad experience everything
we know. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pg. 155)
Can I expect that I will be faced with a "Shazer" event at least once in my life, even if I happen to be involved in a divine work?
Would it be wise for me to consider very carefully what is happening in the record of the Book of Mormon here in order to learn what I might do to pass through my "Shazer" event(s)?
Does the above recorded event fall in the category that the Prophet Joseph described as being a witness and an example that has the potential of imparting wisdom to us?
My present understanding of the above situation is that this is one of the events that occurred to Lehi and his company due to ignoring the Liahona.
And now, my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball or director, or our fathers called it Liahona, which is (being interpreted) a compass; and the Lord prepared it. And behold, there cannot any man work after the manner of so curious a workmanship. And behold, it was prepared to shew unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness; and it did work for them according to their faith in God. Therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done. Therefore, they had this miracle, and also many other miracles, wrought by the power of God, day by day. Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means, it did shew unto them marvelous works. They were slothful and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence, and then those marvelous works ceased and they did not progress in their journey. Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst because of their transgression. (Alma 37:38 - 432, NC Alma 17 par. 15)
I don't point this out to belittle or condemn Lehi and his company.
I must ask myself several questions as I consider the words of Alma applied to this "Shazer" event among Lehi's company here.
Have I so lived and been sufficiently diligent and meek in following the words of the Lord that He has found me fit to enter back into His presence?
Lehi had received such things.
Have I been invited to be a part of an "exodus" so to speak that has been divinely commissioned by the Lord?
In this Lehi and I might have something in common. (more on this later in the post)
Alma spoke immediately following his statement concerning Lehi's company and the Liahona that it was a type for the rest of us and that for us the Liahona represented the words of Christ.
Have I been diligent to give heed to the words of Christ?
Do I live in a mortal world where I am left to experience all of the weakness of the flesh; hunger, thirst, and fatigue?
How would I react when presented with a "Shazer" event?
What is it about "murmuring" that is so wrong?
Is it possible for me to look at scriptural examples of "murmuring" to be able to get a better idea of what "murmuring" is and why I ought to avoid it?
The following is the account of the response of the camp of Israel following the Lord destroying Korash and his family and all who were not authorized to offer incense before the Lord but did so anyway in defiance of the Lord's command.
But on the next day, all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, You have killed the people of the Lord. And it came to pass, when the congregation was gathered against Moses and against Aaron, that they looked toward the tabernacle of the congregation, and behold, the cloud covered it, and the glory of the Lord appeared. And Moses and Aaron came before the tabernacle of the congregation. And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying, Get yourself up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces. And Moses said unto Aaron, Take a censer, and put fire therein from off the altar, and put on incense, and go quickly unto the congregation and make an atonement for them; for there is wrath gone out from the Lord. The plague is begun. And Aaron took as Moses commanded and ran into the midst of the congregation, and behold, the plague was begun among the people. And he put on incense and made an atonement for the people. And he stood between the dead and the living, and the plague was stopped. Now they that died in the plague were fourteen thousand seven hundred, besides them that died about the matter of Korah. And Aaron returned unto Moses, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and the plague was stopped. (Numbers 16:41 - 50, OC Numbers 9 par. 10)
Is there an element of accusation exposed in this event of "murmuring"?
What about this event?
And all the congregation of the children of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys according to the commandment of the Lord, and pitched in Rephidim; and there was no water for the people to drink. Wherefore, the people did chide with Moses and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why do you chide with me? Why do you test the Lord? And the people thirsted there for water, and the people murmured against Moses and said, Why is this that you have brought us up out of Egypt to kill us, and our children, and our cattle with thirst? And Moses cried unto the Lord, saying, What shall I do unto this people? They are almost ready to stone me. And the Lord said unto Moses, Go on before the people, and take with you of the elders of Israel; and your rod with which you smote the river, take in your hand and go. Behold, I will stand before you there upon the rock in Horeb, and you shall smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel. And he called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel and because they tested the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us or not? (Exodus 17:1 - 7, OC Exodus 10 par. 9)
Is there also an element of accusation in this murmuring event as well?
This is an event in the mortal life of the Lord.
Then drew near unto him many of the publicans and sinners in order to hear him. And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receives sinners and eats with them. And he spoke this parable unto them, saying, What man of you having a hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine and go into the wilderness after that which is lost until he find it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says unto them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you that likewise, joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repents, more than over ninety-nine just people who need no repentance. (Luke 15:1 - 7, NC Luke 9 par. 11)
Is there an element of judgement in the scribes and Pharisees actions of "murmuring"
The following event occurred just after the Lord declared to His disciples that He was the bread of life and that they must eat of His flesh in order to be saved.
Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is a hard saying; who can hear it? When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Does this offend you? What, and if you shall see the Son of Man ascend up where he was before? It is the spirit that quickens, the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not. (For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not and who should betray him.) And he said, Therefore said I unto you that no man can come unto me except he does the will of my Father who has sent me. (John 6:60 - 65, NC John 5 par. 18)
Is there also an element of judgement in the murmuring that took place at this time?
Is it possible that their murmuring included a judgment such as "this man is crazy insane"?
Following Lehi's death this is what Laman and Lemuel and the sons of Ishmael did.
Behold, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cry much unto the Lord my God because of the anger of my brethren. But behold, their anger did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life. Yea, they did murmur against me, saying, Our younger brother thinks to rule over us, and we have had much trial because of him; wherefore, now let us slay him, that we may not be afflicted more because of his words. For behold, we will not have him to be our ruler, for it belongs unto us, who are the elder brethren, to rule over this people. Now I do not write upon these plates all the words which they murmured against me, but it sufficeth me to say that they did seek to take away my life. (2 Nephi 5:1 - 4, NC 2 Nephi 4 par. 1)
Is it possible to detect an accusation in this murmuring?
What about the following?
And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make bellows, wherewith to blow the fire, of the skins of beasts. And after I had made bellows, that I might have wherewith to blow the fire, I did smite two stones together that I might make fire. For the Lord had not hitherto suffered that we should make much fire as we journeyed in the wilderness, for he said, I will make thy food become sweet, that ye cook it not. And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments. Wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led. Yea, and the Lord said also that after ye have arrived to the promised land, ye shall know that I, the Lord, am God, and that I, the Lord, did deliver you from destruction, yea, that I did bring you out of the land of Jerusalem. Wherefore, I, Nephi, did strive to keep the commandments of the Lord, and I did exhort my brethren to faithfulness and diligence. And it came to pass that I did make tools of the ore which I did molten out of the rock. And when my brethren saw that I was about to build a ship, they began to murmur against me, saying, Our brother is a fool, for he thinketh that he can build a ship; yea, and he also thinketh that he can cross these great waters. And thus my brethren did complain against me and were desirous that they might not labor, for they did not believe that I could build a ship, neither would they believe that I were instructed of the Lord. (1 Nephi 17:11 - 18, NC 1 Nephi 5 par. 16)
Again, is it possible to detect an element of judgement in the murmuring that Laman and Lemuel did against Nephi here; judging him to be crazy insane?
What about more modern events?
The following is the Lord's admonition to Oliver Cowdery following the time Oliver tried to translate but could not do so.
Be patient my son, for it is wisdom in me, and it is not expedient that you should translate at this present time. Behold, the work which you are called to do is to write for my servant Joseph, and behold, it is because that you did not continue as you commenced, when you began to translate, that I have taken away this privilege from you. Do not murmur my son, for it is wisdom in me that I have dealt with you after this manner. (D&C 9:3 - 6, T&C 1, Joseph Smith History Part 13 par. 25)
Is the Lord admonishing Oliver not to accuse Him, the Lord, of dealing falsely; the key action being not to accuse the Lord?
What about the following that is very very recent and really applies to me?
Do not murmur, saying, Too much has been required at our hands in too short a time. If your hearts were right, it was a light thing I have asked. You hinder and delay and then you say I require too much of you and do not allow you time, when, if your hearts were right and you prepared yourselves, you could have finished this work long ago. Do you indeed desire to be my people? Then accept and do as I have required. (T&C 157 par. 56)
The above are the words of the Lord concerning a labor He required of us now to create and adopt a guide and standard.
If I am to seriously consider these words of the Lord don't I have to conclude that for me to say that the Lord has required too much in too short of a time I am actually accusing the Lord of acting falsely with me?
These words from the Lord are also very recent.
I ordained this work and labored beside you. No man should condemn these words, or see the weakness of my laborers when I judge their hearts. All their weakness, foolishness and vanity are before me, and none of it is hidden to me. To vindicate the promises I made to the fathers, I will bear patiently with all of you for my name’s sake. If I accept their work despite their weaknesses, that I may fulfill my promises to gather my people under my wings, then stop murmuring and complaining against those who labor. If you expect mercy, then show mercy to others. I, your Lord, am pleased with all those who are grateful and merciful and who will have me be their God. I am meek and lowly of heart. (T&C 177 par. 5)
The above words from the Lord are concerning the scriptures project that was undertaken and completed to the Lord's present satisfaction.
Is it possible to detect that if I judge those who worked on the project as weak and accuse them for their weakness that those elements are part of my murmuring?
There are many many more scriptural examples of "murmuring" but I believe that the above examples are more than sufficient to demonstrate that murmuring includes judging and accusing.
What has the Lord declared about both judging and accusing others?
And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words, he turned again to the multitude and did open his mouth unto them again, saying, Verily, verily I say unto you, judge not, that ye be not judged; for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye, and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again, and rend you. (3 Nephi 14:1 - 6, NC 3 Nephi 6 pars. 5 - 6)
Should I consider how seriously wrong a matter it is in the eyes of God for me, a person with a beam in my own eye, to judge the motes in my brothers' eyes?
Am I capable of knowing the heartache, life experiences, trials, challenges, point of view, or intentions of anyone else?
I am persuaded by hard painful life experience that requires my sincere repentance that the phrase in the hymn "Lord I Would Follow Thee" is absolutely correct "In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see".
I agree with the following counsel concerning judgement.
In Matthew 3:40, He says:
Now these are the words which Jesus taught his disciples that they should say unto the people: Judge not unrighteously, that you be not judged, but judge righteous judgment; for with what judgment you [shall] judge, you shall be judged, and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again. (Matthew 3:40 RE)
The difference it here that I see between the no judging and the righteous judgment is likely related to Final Judgment, as opposed to all those in-between judgments that we can do if we think we have the Lord on our side, in terms of righteous judgment.
And then moving from Matthew into Third Nephi—Third Nephi chapter six, verse six:
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull that [the] mote out of thine eye, and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam [out] of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again, and rend you. (3 Nephi 6:6 RE)
And so I say to that: What the heck does that have to do with anything? So, on the assumption that it is actually related to what came before that, I spent a reasonable amount of time contemplating it, and this is my version of pearls and swine and dogs and whatever. It's a strange ending to this particular thought; so, what if it means that we are the dogs and swine, and judging is a holy and precious act—one that we don't have anywhere near the godliness to engage in, at least without seriously pursuing God's help—and we will get out of the attempt (and all we will get out of the attempt) at that kind of judging is trampling and rending. So, that's my take; and so, let's not do it. Okay?
Let’s just not do it.
In the foregoing scriptures, we are being told to worry about ourselves first (and that should take a long, long, long time). And then, if we need to, we can worry about other people after that. So, in theory, if we're as critical towards ourselves as we are others, we should be doing a lot of repenting, improving, growing in love and charity and empathy—as we make ourselves better; because it's just about beams and motes, people. That's it—just don't do it. ("Love Others as Yourself", Stephanie Snuffer, 14/July/2019, pgs. 8 - 9)
What about accusing or being an accuser?
What has the Lord revealed on this matter?
In your language you use the name Lucifer for an angel who was in authority before God, who rebelled, fought against the work of the Father and was cast down to the earth. His name means holder of light, or light bearer, for he had gathered light by his heed and diligence before he rebelled. He has become a vessel containing only wrath and seeks to destroy all who will hearken to him. He is now enslaved to his own hatred.
Satan is a title and means accuser, opponent, and adversary; hence, once he fell, Lucifer became, or in other words was called, Satan, because he accuses others and opposes the Father. I rebuked Peter and called him Satan because he was wrong in opposing the Father’s will for me, and Peter understood and repented.
In the work you have performed there are those who have been Satan, accusing one another, wounding hearts, and causing jarring, contention, and strife by their accusations. Rather than loving one another, even among you who desire a good thing, some have dealt unkindly as if they were the opponents, accusers, and adversaries. In this they were wrong. (T&C 157 pars. 7 - 9)
The Prophet Joseph declared something critical concerning not accusing one another.
I charged the Saints not to follow the example of the adversary in accusing the brethren,9 and
said, “If you do not accuse each other, God will not accuse you. If you have no accuser you will
enter heaven, and if you will follow the revelations and instructions which God gives you through
me, I will take you into heaven as my back load. If you will not accuse me, I will not accuse you.
If you will throw a cloak of charity over my sins, I will over yours—for charity covereth a multitude
of sins. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pg. 193)
As I presently understand both what the Lord has revealed and the words of the Prophet Joseph, if I accuse anyone I am being a Satan.
The scriptures declare that Satan is the accuser of the brethren.
And I heard a loud voice saying in Heaven, Now has come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ; for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, who accused them before our God day and night; for they have overcome him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; for they loved not their own lives, but kept the testimony even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O Heavens, and you that dwell in them. (Revelation 12:10 - 12, NC Revelation 4 par. 4)
The scriptures do not declare that Satan's accusations were wrong or in other words that his accusations were not warranted.
Am I ever free from sin?
Who must cover me with His sacrifice in order to make me clean?
Could it be said that the Lord's role to intercede for repentant sinners is the polar opposite of the role of Satan to accuse the sinner?
Would Satan be correct if he accused me of sin?
If I would be the opposite of Satan then shouldn't I seek to intercede for others?
How serious a matter in the eyes of God is it for me to act in a role that is contrary to the Lord's role even if my accusation is correct?
As serious as these two elements of murmuring are in the eyes of God, is it not apparent why God would chasten anyone who is guilty of such an act?
Is it possible that the statements and thoughts of Lehi's camp were accusatory and judgmental of what the Lord had commanded them to do?
How serious a matter is it for someone who is involved in a divine event, such as fleeing a corrupt and soon to be destroyed civilization through divine invitation and intervention, to accuse and judge the Lord for what is transpiring during the event?
I posed the question above in a way to reflect not just Lehi's journey but the fact that I have given witness that the Lord has invited all who will, with a divine invitation and through divine intervention, to flee now from a corrupt and soon to be destroyed civilization.
Should I not expect that if I do not give heed and diligence to the words of Christ, as Alma declared, that I will find myself suffering in a "Shazer" event?
How will I respond?
How have I responded to this point?
Do I seriously consider that I would be immune to the tendency of accusing and judging God's actions and intents for His work that He has invited me to be a part of?
How was Lehi chastened in this event?
Is it possible that his chastening was similar to this?
When we were looking at the reaction that people have (in the last day of judgment) to standing in the presence of a just and holy being and feeling awful, I pointed out to you that in that passage, God was doing nothing other than existing. But the disappointment in the mind of man is so exquisite that it is likened by Joseph Smith to a lake of fire and brimstone.
Therefore, God in His wrath has simply withdrawn. He’s taken a step back because we’re not suited to be in His presence. Therefore, having God withdraw is a matter of feeling keenly that absence, that rejection. ("Talk 8: A Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit," Denver Snuffer, 25/July/2014, pgs. 1 - 2)
This is what Mother Smith recorded of the time following the loss of the original translated manuscript until the Lord decided to accept a repentant Joseph and resume the work.
When Joseph had taken a little nourishment, according to the directions of the stranger, he requested us to send immediately for Mr. Harris. This we did without delay. And when we had given the stranger his breakfast, we commenced preparing breakfast for the family; and we supposed that Mr. Harris would be there, as soon as it was ready, to eat with us, for he generally came in such haste when he was sent for. At eight o'clock we set the victuals on the table, as we were expecting him every moment. We waited till nine, and he came not - till ten, and he was not there, - till eleven, still he did not make his appearance. But at half-past twelve we saw him walking with a slow and measured tread towards the house, his eyes fixed thoughtfully upon the ground. On coming to the gate, he stopped, instead of passing through, and got upon the fence, and sat there some time with his hat drawn over his eyes. At length he entered the house. Soon after which we sat down to the table, Mr. Harris with the rest. He took up his knife and fork as if he were going to use them, but immediately dropped them. Hyrum, observing this said, "Martin, why do you not eat; are you sick?" Upon which, Mr. Harris pressed his hands upon his temples, and cried out, in a tone of deep anguish, "Oh, I have lost my soul! I have lost my soul!"
Joseph, who had not expressed his fears till now, sprang from the table exclaiming, "Martin, have you lost that manuscript? Have you broken your oath, and brought condemnation upon my head, as well as your own?"
"Yes, it is gone," replied Martin, "and I know not where."
"Oh, my God!" said Joseph, clinching his hands. "All is lost! all is lost! What shall I do? I have sinned - it is I who tempted the wrath of God. I should have been satisfied with the first answer which I received from the Lord; for he told me that it was not safe to let the writing go out of my possession." He wept and groaned, and walked the floor continually...
I well remember that day of darkness, both within and without. To us, at least, the heavens seemed clothed with blackness, and the earth shrouded with gloom.
I have often said within myself, that if a continual punishment, as severe as that which we experienced on that occasion, were to be inflicted upon the most wicked characters who ever stood upon the footstool of the Almighty - if even their punishment were no greater than that, I should feel to pity their condition. (History of Joseph Smith by His Mother, Lucy Mack Smith, pgs. 127 - 132)
Of the above event the Lord declared to the Prophet Joseph as follows.
Wherefore, I command you to repent and keep the commandments which you have received by the hand of my servant Joseph Smith Jr. in my name; and it is by my almighty power that you have received them. Therefore, I command you to repent, repent lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore — how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent. But if they would not repent, they must suffer even as I, which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit, and would that I might not drink the bitter cup and shrink. Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. Wherefore, I command you again to repent lest I humble you by my almighty power, and that you confess your sins, lest you suffer these punishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have tasted at the time I withdrew my spirit. (D&C 19:13 - 20, T&C 1, Joseph Smith History, part 17, par. 5)
If I understand correctly, what Mother Smith described was the withdrawal of the Lord that occurred which the Lord declared was the least degree of the punishment they experienced.
That does seem quite terrible.
If this is what occurred here to Lehi, is it any wonder that Lehi, who had been in the presence of the Lord and also of the Father and who had seen and heard unspeakable things would be truly chastened because of his murmurings against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow?
How seriously should I consider this event?
How seriously should I use this event as a witness to me so that maybe in this late age of the world I can learn by wisdom instead of by sad experience?
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